Thursday 7 August 2014

My Feet Hurt

So you all can fuck right off.

In other words, I didn't PMO today or yesterday, didn't miss any runs, missed some of yesterday's push ups and sit ups, ate entirely healthy today (no sugary/fatty foods at all!), and worked. My feet hurt. So fuck you.

Tuesday 5 August 2014

Can't Blame Nobody But Me

Hey, so guess what?

   I fucking relapsed. I cannot believe myself. No triggers or anything, just went into the shower and had to sit down to clean my feet really well (they were so dirty!), and just sitting in the shower was a trigger. I PMOd, but without the P or O. Where there should've been shitty pleasure, there was jack shit. Zero. Nada. Zip. None. So it was a waste.

3 strikes and I'm out, and I've only got 1 strike left. Fuck this, I hate baseball metaphors. 1 more time and I lose at life. One more time, and I prove to myself that I have no discipline, no self control, no self respect. It proves that despite what I have told myself, I am a loser.

2/3.
Robbie

Two Posts in One, Again.`

   Yesterday was busy! I had done a lot and was exhausted at its end. I did a 5km hike with my friend and his sister, we went up into the Alouette mountains near my home in Maple Ridge. Here are some pictures! I also got a haircut, in the span of a half hour I managed to get my hair down from 6-7 inches long, to a quarter inch in length! I decided that if I was to work on my confidence, there's no point in hiding behind long hair.

   So that was yesterday. Today is a new day, and guess what happened early this morning? Sometime around 3am, I drifted off into sleep and had a dream about browsing NSFW websites, in short I was PMOing in my dream. Not good, I was so relieved to wake up and find out that it didn't happen! Later on in the day, I was bored and presented with a few opportunities.

  1.  I could browse Reddit further.
  2.  I could watch Netflix
  3.  I could practice music
  4.  I could run.
   I chose to practice, then run. I went on an 8 minute run around the park near my home, only stopping once before a stream I had to jump. That was fantastic, I loved it so much that I decided to do it again, 3 hours later! But this time, instead of doing the exact same thing, I ended by running into the parking lot, getting my mail, and running home on the road. It only added a minute of sprinting to my journey, but it was awfully fun.

   I just took a massive break in the writing, I had forgotten that loads of people were coming over for a BBQ, due to my brother and 5 of his friends returning safely from Europe. So that was a lot of fun, although I did end up eating unnecessary cake. Other than that, I ate healthy throughout the night.

   NoFap went well these 2 days, I edged earlier but only for 15 seconds, as I talked myself out of it really quickly. I'm rather proud of myself on my ability to shut down temptations recently.

And that's about all, folks!
Robbie

Sunday 3 August 2014

2 for 1 Special!

Hey all,

   Sorry I didn't make my post yesterday, quite honestly I forgot to. So I'm making up for my petty ignorance with today's post.

   Yesterday was a grand day. I went to the mall, and spent some of my hard-earned money, buying a fancy leather Nixon wallet, and a simple backpack for school. I got home and got immensely sunburned, foolishly forgetting to apply sunscreen. So that was stupid of me.

   But I got a fair bit of exercise yesterday, even if I had forgotten to do my 2 sets of sit-ups. I plan on going on my run right after I finish with this post. Instead of running as hard as I could to a mailbox not far away, today I will pace myself and run 3 times that length, to a farm at the end of the road.

   Eating healthy has gone well these past 2 days, I have had only 2 squares of chocolate, which was yesterday. I plan to have none today or tomorrow, nor any of the days left in my challenge.

   Everything else is going according to plan! I'm off to run now, see you all tomorrow for another update.

Robbiwood

Friday 1 August 2014

Starting to Question my Resolve

Hey,

   So, I'm not off to a very good start. I just had a PMO relapse in the shower, because I foolishly decided to bring my phone into the bathroom with me. Never doing that again, haha. So I've now decided to ask myself. Why am I doing this? Well, to be frank I'm not entirely sure. Mainly, I want to boost my confidence. Second to that, I want to be quicker when I shower. I usually spend 20 minutes in the shower (when I PMO), so I want to cut that down to 5-10. When I don't PMO, it's usually about 10 minutes, so that's not too bad. I also want to quit fapping because I'm not the best I can be when I PMO. So there's that.

   Anyways, moving on. I didn't eat half as much junk food as I usually do (before I started these challenges), yet I still can cut it out entirely. For example, I ate a small ice-cream bar earlier today, when I could've easily turned it down. That ice cream was my only bit of junk today, I've been eating healthy otherwise.

   I did 45 minutes of Tae Kwon Do sparring earlier, I've decided to go hardcore with my training up until my black belt exam, in 6 months approximately. So I got my cardio and workouts in today, due to having to do many a push up and sit up.

   Cold shower was well in the morning, and I even took a cold shower at night, though it didn't exactly stop me from PMO. Only I can do that.

   So yeah, today was decent in some ways, but poor in others. And I'm also going to add a counter to the bottom of each post, of how many times I PMO. Last time, I PMOd 7 times during my 40 days. That's really good for me, and I am very proud of myself. This time though, I'm staying under 3. If I go over 3, then I will have to punish myself in some horrific manner.

Robbie
PMO: 1/3

The End of Days

Hey all,

   I'm still here. Only problem is, my NoFap streak isn't within the first 3 hours of my last day, I had relapsed and broken my 7 day streak. Not good.

   So. Fuck it all, lets do another 40 Day Challenge. No Fapping (I'm making it the whole way this time), No Junk Food, Workout, and continue on with my cold showers once a day.

   I'll be deleting all previous posts, essentially wiping the slate clean. I hate to dwell on the past, it just makes one feel guilty about oneself and wish things could be changed. No living in the past, or fantasizing about my future.

   This is my first of 40 posts. I will update each day, and not skip a day or two.

Once again, fuck it all and lets go again,

Robbie Wood