Hey, so guess what?
I fucking relapsed. I cannot believe myself. No triggers or anything, just went into the shower and had to sit down to clean my feet really well (they were so dirty!), and just sitting in the shower was a trigger. I PMOd, but without the P or O. Where there should've been shitty pleasure, there was jack shit. Zero. Nada. Zip. None. So it was a waste.
3 strikes and I'm out, and I've only got 1 strike left. Fuck this, I hate baseball metaphors. 1 more time and I lose at life. One more time, and I prove to myself that I have no discipline, no self control, no self respect. It proves that despite what I have told myself, I am a loser.
2/3.
Robbie
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